The New room

I think I should re-name this blog- 'Furman's Home improvement site' because basically that is all I post anymore.  When Adam was a baby (see above picture that wasn't taken in 2004, it was 2006) we re-did the garage.  Adam is now seven and you can see the above room in the garage in the top picture, that was the before picture this summer.  It was 'done' but not finished in a way that I would like.  We basically used it as a catch all.  So this summer I hired someone to finish it.  Chip probably would have been able to do it but it wasn't on his radar list.  He has bigger and better things to do such as fix this other barn.  In about a month's time a man came and put in flooring, sheet rock, painted, put in tile at the top of the stairs and put in doors.  He also stained the boards.  Chip did some tile on the bar.  Now it looks fabulous!  We can have meetings up there, parties, run on the treadmill (Chip is going to get the TV hooked up) and I love it!  We are having a hay ride there in 4 days and it is ready to go.

Here's the lastest on the barn

Phase One and a half

This is one of this summer's project.  I am calling it Phase one and a half because that is kinda where we are in the barn/rebuilding barn stage.  Phase one was to knock down the barn that we did last year and build it back up.  That is complete.  You can see the barn on the left hand side of the bottom picture.  This year we were going to tear down another section of the barn and build it back up to a hay shed.  We won't have time for the building part this summer but we are tearing it down.  So that's why it's one and a half.  The first step was to clear the barn out.  There is a LOT of stuff saved on the farm.  And it just gets moved around basically but we did get rid of stuff and brought a load of scrap metal over so there is a little progress.  I posted on facebook that I picked up something I thought was a tarp... and it was an old cow hide.  Gross!  Once everything was out, off came the roof.  Our job was to take all the nails out of the metal roof.  Then everything needs to  taken away.  This process has been taking a few days and it looks better already.  They did cut up some for firewood but it takes so long, basically they are taking it to a field and will burn it.  I'll post pictures when it's done.  Chip starts work Monday and works Monday-Friday now so I'm not sure how much will get done.  PS.  See the cute little blond on the excavator?  The boys are out all day working.  :)  And Anna and I ride around in the dump truck when she wakes up from her nap.  And I also like the mail truck coming down the road in the 6th picture.  I just noticed that!

Food

I have come to the conclusion that I like making food.  OK, maybe not ALL the time but in general, I like the idea of eating good things, and I like to try to make new things.  The problem is, this doesn't always go over very well with my family.  I am involved in a few groups.  I work full time, I co-run the Sunday School, I am on the committee for Cub Scouts which is once a month, and I am part of a Holistic Moms group that is once a month.  I just recently signed up for a cooking class at the library and that is once a month as well.  I have gone twice and the next one is this week.  This is by far my favorite activity.  I have some friends that go and we watch a woman cook and then we get to eat.  What can be better than that?

When I was growing up we had our 'stand-by' meals- fried pork chops, spaghetti, steak with homemade fries, fried chicken legs, ham steak, etc.  I can't think of all of them.  My dad is a meat and potatoes kinda guy.  The only spices we used were salt and pepper.  Somehow I have decided and figured out that I like different flavors.  I hate to say I 'experiment' because I am not an experimenter by nature.  Give me a recipe and I will follow it to a tee.  But I do like different flavors and I do like to try to make things that sound appealing.

Every week I sit down and decide what we are having for dinner.  Adam will often ask me as I serve it, "Have we had this before?"  because I make a lot of different things apparently.  As I mentioned previously, my meals don't always go over well.  Chip will eat anything.  The kids?  Not so much.  So one night Chip told me, I think you make too exotic foods.  And that made me sad and I thought, I am going to make whatever I want and if they are hungry they will eat it.  But I thought that wasn't really nice either.  After talking about food at a girls weekend, my friend Marji had mentioned she wrote down all of the foods that she makes regularly because sometimes she doesn't know what to make.  So I did that one day, and wrote them all by type of food- beef, pork, chicken, other and then had Chip 'approve' if the kids would eat them.  And so far so good.  The only problem is I am getting bored with... ham steak, pork with sauerkraut, steak, spaghetti, repeat.  OK, maybe not repeat but it feels like that.  Last night I made baked pork chops with sauerkraut, boxed mac and cheese and steam fresh vegs.  (Steamfresh vegs we pretty much eat EVERY night, they are the best things ever.)  Oh, and the family thought that was the best dinner I ever made.  Really?

Chip doesn't eat fish.  I didn't grow up on fish so I don't make it.  I eat more seafood than I used to though.  Chip likes scallops and I will eat them and shrimp too.  But I think that if kids aren't exposed to things, they will never eat it.  It is my job to make different things and they can try it and maybe they will eat it.  But then again, I eat different things and I didn't when I was younger.  Here is a list of things that I can think of off the top of my head that I wouldn't eat as a child and now will: scalloped potatoes (really, look at them.  What kid would want to eat that?), broccoli casserole, tomatoes, squash casserole, shrimp, any cooked vegetable except beans and corn. (I'll eat peas now and spinach)  I still am not a fan of cooked broccoli, cauliflower, lima beans, beef-a-roni, Spanish rice, chili, goulash, and pepper steak.  But I am thinking that hopefully someday my kids will come around and try different things too.

I feel like I always give Adam a sandwhich for lunch.  And he's fine with that but I was looking for some other ideas (easy and healthy)  so I asked at my cooking class and the next class she brought a whole list and they all sounded super yummy!  I'll try to think of some off the top of my head- bean and corn salad with scoop chips, egg salad with crackers, tuna salad on bread, a bagel with cream cheese and jelly, fruit salad, a sandwhich with nutella, hummus with pita chips and raw vegs, cold chicken cutlet sandwich, I can't remember them all.  I can list them if you want, I have the paper downstairs.  I had Adam rank them (and he's my best eater) but he didn't want a lot of them.  He isn't a fan of jelly, he doesn't like sweets.  I gave him a bagel with cream cheese a lot for a bit, and of course he loves the fruit salad.  One day I made him a yogurt parfait.  I buy them from stewarts on my early morning meeting days and they are SO good- vanilla yogurt with real strawberries and a little granola (they have blueberry too but they aren't as good).  So I bought some yogurt, fresh strawberries and gave him a little baggie of granola.   He ate it, but didn't love it.  A week or so ago I made this salad that she suggested- SO yummy- cold cooked pasta (I used shells), scallions, an apple and a red pepper tossed in a poppy seed dressing.  I had it a few days and the apple doesn't turn brown, it must be the dressing or something.  He didn't like it.  I didn't think he would because he has mentioned before when I made the tri-color pasta that it's slimy (because it's cold and has the Italian dressing) but I thought I would give it a go anyway.  I had a yummy lunch for a few days though.

I have heard that kids' taste buds are more sensitive than ours I think because ours are old.  :)  But I make this Italian bread from our cooking class that Chip and I love- cut the Italian bread into slices and put it on the baking pan, drizzle olive oil, I use garlic powder, salt, pepper, parm Romano cheese and red wine vinegar...there may be something else but I think that is it.  And then you bake it.  Delicious!  The boys say it is sour.  :)  Which I think means spicy.

But I am going to keep plugging along.  A few weeks ago I bought some pesto because I love pesto, and I dump it on chicken and bake it with a little mozz cheese.  So I took a couple of pieces for the kids and baked it without the pesto.  There was plenty for them to try if they wanted (which they didn't) but they had some plain with bread crumbs and dipped it in ranch dressing.  Hopefully some day they will want to try new things.  I came out of my shell a little bit.

Things I have learned

This is going to seem like a random post but it was something  I was thinking about the other day.  We have been married now for 10 (pretty darn awesome years).  And I feel like we are still learning things.  You probably don't think about it but when you go into marriage you go in with assumptions.  I find that I have things that I assume based on how my parents' marriage is.  And I was thinking that if you came from a broken home, it would be hard to see these things (well I guess it depends on what it is).  But anyway, I am going to share with you some findings (sorry mom and dad) of some things that you may or may not do as a couple (and I won't share if this is an Ehrets or a Furman thing.)

Some families:

-only use hardboiled Easter eggs/ some use a combo of plastic and harboiled
-store baked goods in the stove/ store them on the counter (I turned on the stove our first year of marriage not knowing there was something being stored in there!)
-share all money/ person is delegated 'things to pay for'
-kiss before you leave the house/ don't kiss
-give gifts for mother's day, father's day to spouse/ don't
-sit around after dinner/ clean up right after dinner and move on
-leave notes on the counter to where-abouts/don't
-go grocery shopping with your spouce/ don't
-go to bed at the same time/ don't

Ok, so I can only think of nine and I am sure there are more.

Questions

Van has been asking a lot of questions lately.  I wanted to record some so I remember them because they are amusing.  Honestly it can get a little tiresome listening to him, and trying to figure out some of the answers because a lot of the time I don't know the answers.  We were in the car once and he was asking all of these questions to and from our location and when I told Chip about it, he said he does the same thing to him.  Then a few days later I had a half day conference.  It was all about questioning and how to get kids to ask questions and how to get them to think.  Come to find out, the 'why' questions are the best questions to ask.  They show that the mind is thinking and wanting to learn more.  I ran home and told Chip right away how we need to embrace this.  Here are some questions that I hope you find amusing (and random) :

Why are baby ducks yellow?
What is inside of a duck?
Why are cats' eyes green?
How come (which is how most of his questions start out) you can't see air?
Why isn't yogurt crunchy?
Is milk a liquid?
Are witches real?
Why does Mrs. Bender have so much hair?
Why does Mr. Bender have a mustache?
Is God Jesus?
Why does Jesus carry water?
Why do penises get bigger when you get older?
Why does your head have a bottom? (ie: why do you have a roof of your mouth, why isn't it open to your brain and such?)

And then a little cute item he said tonight about my plaid pajamas, "I like your square pajamas."  And I just realized he doesn't say jamamas anymore which makes me very sad.

Parenting post

OK, so this may strike a chord with you. I am basically posting this for two reasons: 1. To basically just state my opinion and rant for a bit. and 2. I have my blog put into a book every once in a while. I started in 2008 and have 2 books made. I enjoy reading them and hopefully my kids and grand kids will too. I wonder what they will think when they read this post and how parenting will change.

Parenting is really hard. We know this. I would say that I question myself on a daily basis if I did the right thing in a certain situation. I'm going to give you a little scenario that we seem to be finding ourselves in on a regular basis and then I am going to give you my take on the situation. All names, locations, and genders have been changed to protect the innocent. :)

So Adam is involved in this sports team/organization/church group/playgroup (not naming it). And they get together regularly and do different things. So as a group they decided to go to a glass factory. And all their parents are there. The tour guide is giving them a tour of the factory and explains to them that they can't run around, there is glass around, it is expensive and it can break. There are also a lot of expensive tools around to make the glass and if you touch them, it will be difficult for the people that work there because they aren't going to know where they are etc. So want to guess what happens? The kids are running all over the place. Wanna guess what the parents are doing? NOTHING. Or let me rephrase that... a parent of Pat keeps saying/whispering Pat, Pat, Pat, Pat, Pat. And Pat keeps running and not listening at all. At one point Chip says to the kids, you know, you really shouldn't be running around here. But no one listens of course and why would they listen to him? And why should he have to be the one to discipline the kids when their parents are standing right there? So they go into another room so see some other glass demonstration and same deal, no one is listening, kids are running around, touching everything. And you'll hear an occasional, "Don't do that Pat." "Stop Lucy." "Don't run Roger."

And this happens EVERY time the kids go to a public place as a group. Thankfully nothing got damaged at the glass factory. But things did get damaged at the newspaper place.

I'm not one to say I am a perfect parent. I could probably use some classes and Nanny 911 and you name it, I probably should read some parenting book. But my kid was not running around any of those places. And if we needed to tell him to stop. He would stop. I read an article in Parents magazine a few weeks ago. I have decided I am not going to subscribe anymore. 1. I don't have time to read it. 2. I think I don't really agree with what they say... which brings us back to the beginning of the paragraph where I probably need the class and the books since I am sure the editors of Parents know a lot more than me. But there was an article in there about spanking. And this isn't what made me want to not resubscribe to the magazine but the articles are generally geared in this direction. Basically spanking is bad. And I think in my heart of hearts, I probably believe that. But it went as far to say that swatting a child's hand away from a hot stove is considered a spank as well as giving a pat on a diapered bottom. I do spank my kids. And I yell at them and I take toys away and I send them to their room and we take a story away at bed time and we don't give dessert after every meal. Do I like doing that? No. But guess what? My kids are respectful well behaved children. I am NOT their friend. Someday I hope to be. But today, I am their parent. I decide when they go to bed. I decide that they are done playing. I decide what we are having for dinner. Someday they will get to choose that. But not today.

Let me tell you what I would have done if I was Pat's mom or dad. I would have grabbed Pat (and by grab I mean grab) and I would have taken her outside and I would have given her a little talk. If she would not behave she would have went home. And if she had to go home (or even if she didn't) she would have written an apology letter to the leader of the group, and the leader of glass place. Same thing for the newspaper place. And this hasn't happened. I know this because it happens EVERY time we go with the group.

Last week Van would not pick up his toys before he went to bed. It's a struggle A LOT. So I told him, if you don't pick up your toys, you know what will happen, I am going to pick them up and take them away. So same thing goes on, kicking, playing, etc. I went in after I was done in the kitchen, quietly took away his favorite new army airplane and snowplow that he loves so much, and put them in the back room where the garbage goes. Oh the sobbing and crying and carrying on. And Adam was just as upset seeing Van upset. That wasn't easy and I didn't like doing it. And I guess bus drivers and grandparents and others heard about it. But guess what? Van picks up his toys now. Hopefully he learned his lesson. If not, we'll start over again.

My mom has a theory about ADHD and she thinks it has to do with parenting. I am also kind of wondering the same thing. Think about it: if kids have NO boundaries, NO consequences, NO guidance, what is going to happen? They are going to be WILD. They aren't going to pay attention. Why do they need to pay attention, there aren't any consequences. I have a kid in my class that tells me, when I don't listen mommy doesn't do anything. Sometimes she'll send me to my room but I have a TV in there so it's OK. Nice. He's five. I wonder why he doesn't listen to me?

I have coined the phrase 'back rubber' for teachers that in my opinion, rub kids back because they don't want to do their math. "You don't want to do your work? That's OK, I'll rub your back until you feel better and then we'll talk." No. I would like to be that teacher in some respects. I NEED to be nicer and listen to kids. But I'm not. And I'm not a back rubber parent. I am not going to rub your back because you don't want to pick up your toys. And we aren't going to talk about your feelings and how we can resolve the problem. I am the parent. For now anyway.

Why kids need a dad

OK, so we all know that kids need dads. (Or maybe some people don't think that but I CERTAINLY do.) And most people would say that kids need dads for the obvious reasons: a masculine role model, guidance, etc. But I have been thinking about this for a while and you may not agree with me or find this amusing but I have come to the conclusion that in addition to the obvious reasons why the Furman children need their dad, there are yet some other reasons why they specifically need the dad they have:

1. songs

Chip makes up songs and sings them. Here's an example:

Anna Jane,

She's a pain

She goes pee pee on the potty

And sometimes she leaves a stain.

Adam laughed so hard he fell of his chair. For real.

2. Dances

This can range in anything to an Irish jig, a rap dance, just your everyday rock and roll dance. You name it, he does it, and the kids join in.

3.Playing songs on your stomach.

Just pull up your shirt and start something. Anything goes.

4. Any wrestling, punching, tickling, trapping and play biting. The kids always come back for more.

5. Donuts, chocolate milk, kielbasa, sausage, soda, etc.

Super bowl I pull out the bowl of grapes (Because SOMEONE has to) but this is what good old dad is known for.

6. Voices

Stories/songs/directions are given in some type of voice. This could be a pirate, a drunken Santa (they don't know that of course), Australian, English, whatever seems to fit the mood at the moment.

7. Anything to do with burps and farts.

I think this pretty much explains itself.

I am sure there are many more. And I am glad there is a balance. I don't do any of the above things with the kids (well, maybe an occasional donut) in an amusing way. But the kids LOVE LOVE LOVE all of it. And that's why they need him. :)

Last barn post for a while

We have been in the barn now for about a month. These pictures were taken exactly one month ago. The barn has a wreath on it and a LOT more manure but otherwise, it looks about the same. I really love it. He did a wonderful job. You don't have to crouch down when you walk anymore (except for the new part and I did my annual banging of the head on a pipe today. But at least I won't do it for the rest of the year.) There's a lot of space in the front. And the barn cleaner works beautifully. He needs to go in the barn building business I tell him. Maybe I'll post a picture in the spring when it's painted and looks a little better. Then we'll be on to phase two which isn't as intensive.

Lincoln Logs

A friend said to me once that she was watching a comedy show about toys once and they were talking about Lincoln Logs. I guess the comedian said something like, "I built a log cabin, and then I built another log cabin... and that's about all you can do with Lincoln Logs." But I beg to differ. Just ask Van W. Furman and he'll tell you a different story. Here are some things that his Lincoln Logs become:

-manure

-snow

-sand

-dirt

-logs

-salt that the snow plow spreads

-and today it was egg shells. Daddy's out spreading egg shells on the fields hence the egg shells.

-silage

-seed corn

Licon Logs-an investment well spent!