Happy Birthday Adam!

I now have a four year old. There is something about being four I think that seems like a full fledged kid. I mean when you're two, you can be a baby, a toddler, still a little person. At three, still I think, pretty small, still kinda a toddler. But four, you are now a kid. I guess a pre-schooler they characterize you right? Definitely not a baby, definitely not a toddler, but a person that has entered the 'kid zone.'

Ahhh... my dear Adam. What a great kid he is. I am really blessed to have him. Chip and I will often say something like, 'Adam? Oh we don't need to worry about him. We trust he won't do blah blah blah.' For example maybe running out in the middle of the road. Or not getting into something when you are in the shower. I don't know if it is the age, personality or a combination of both. Actually, I think it is a combination of both. He is a very cautious and pretty obedient child. He always tries to please, whether it be us, a peer, or another adult. He'll often ask after he does do something wrong, 'Are you happy at me?' Which I think is adorable. And I realized the other day, it is the same phrase as 'Are you mad at me?' So I am sure that is where he got it from.

I realized the other day that I often have the opionion of myself on two different extremes. When I was teaching I would think sometimes that I was a really great teacher, and other times, the worst in the world. I feel that way about being a parent and a wife too. Sometimes I think I try to do everything right, make all the right decisions and do the best job possible. And then other times, I think I need to be reported to CPS. OK, maybe not that bad but still, definitely not a top notch parent. With that said, lately I feel like I have had higher expectations for Adam and I sort of feel bad for him. He is the oldest and I do expect things from him that I don't of his brother. So sometimes I feel like, hey, he's four he should be able to do such and such on his own with no extra help and I expect him to do. And then other times I think, man am I being too hard on him? So I don't know. I sort of feel bad for him having this huge 'big brother' role and requiring things from him that may or may not be age appropriate for him. I hope I am not going to turn him into an angry child!

We got the letter for pre-k last week. I knew the time was coming and I am looking forward to it but when I got the letter I thought, holy cow, this is reality. I am sure most of you reading this are like, are you crazy? He's four years old, it's only 2 and 1/2 hours a day, time to cut the cord lady. But I don't know. This is a big step for him and for me. He's starting school now, there's no going back. Once you start, you won't stop.... for a long long time none the less. And I am just sort of afraid for him. I think he is very naive and innocent. I have tried to protect him for the last four years. As silly as this sounds, I try to only let him watch nice little shows like Sesame Street, Curious George and Clifford. I don't want him to start the spiderman batman thing yet, and he has. It's not the end of the world I know but I just want to keep him four for as long as I can. When my nephew came over Adam got his precious Elmo out and asked him if he loves Elmo and my nephew said no. He said, I like him a little bit. And I just thought, what if someone at school teases him because he likes Elmo? What if someone makes fun of him because he has a truck on his shirt or something? I am sure every parent goes through this but I just want to keep him small and innocent for as long as I can. He has the rest of his life to grow up.

With that said, it is fun to see things click with him. The light bulb has gone on with some school concepts that we have been working on for a while. It's fun to see his independence with things he can do on his own. He is a great little boy and I cherish him.